she's just saying...

Business trip: knitting opportunity!

The Museum gang is headed to Portland for some work events requiring major wardrobe: cocktail party, business meetings, casual work, formal reception and banquet plus the usual 7 hours round-trip in the car. 

Only a few days, but around here every trip is an event. It all starts with laundry. Then there's homework organization; assigning cats and mail to neighbors; packing for me, dog and child; dog to kennel; child to friends: everything requires a plan. Sometimes I envy neighbor X: when he travels he just waters the plants and locks the door.

Plus, I have to plan my knitting strategy: what presents I can knit that 1. aren't destined for anyone on the trip,  3. can be knit in the car and 3. don't need major pattern concentration. Sounds like socks to me.

Odds of these being done by Christmas: 0-5%.

It's beginning to look a lot like Knitmas

Must. Knit. Presents.

Not much new here. I'm falling back on the regulars from the last several years: washcloths (with pretty soaps) for teachers, fingerless mitts, felted clogs, hats, maybe even a coffee cozy or two.

Oh, I'm also knitting Calorimetry. I'm not going to explain what it is, but my Ravelry pals will recognize it. I'm knitting it with Crystal Palace Taos, my new favorite yarn.

Little bits of photos to come, just to tease you all...

I'm also definitely going to knit this:

This is not mine. I stole the image and the idea from here.

Friday frylet: no self-respecting cat

would sit like this.

Who invited the neighbor over?

Top 10 Tuesday: blogging tips

I'm actually a little hesitant to post this entry, because what do I know about blogging tips, and am I implying that my blog is a successful model?  Seriously. I get about 82 readers a day, most of whom are looking for fowl outerwear. (Yes, that's fowl with a "w." Check out the "poultrywear" category over there to the left). Or zucchini risotto, though that's died down since zucchini season has passed. Or 10 ten annoying songs, G.I. girls in glasses, ant farms, you name it. It's a little weird out there.

Anyway. I don't consider myself a Writer so I won't give you composition pointers. Just the blog guidelines I follow - made to be broken, of course.

1. Post at least 3 times a week - quantity is as important as quality. And don't make the posts too long. We have very short attention spans out here in blogland.
2. Don't write anything you don't want your mother or your boss to read, because they will.
3. Remember who your readers are and try to aim posts at them, though not all at the same time.
4. But don't make it too cliqueish if you want new readers.
5. Use daily themes if you like (like today's), but don't be rigid - sprinkle judiciously. They get  tedious.
6. Encourage comments and reply to them. Be nice.
7. Other bloggers are your best audience. Read and comment on other blogs, and reciprocate blog links.
8. Jot down thoughts whenever they happen 'cause they'll be gone in an instant. 
9. Link and list your blog on Facebook, local sites, blog catalogs, etc.
10. Use lists, memes (blog games), random blog links, silly news, etc. if you run out of content ideas. That's why it's a blog.

Again, this is assuming you want to build your readership and community. If you don't care about that, write whatever and however the hell you want! It's your blog!

 

The difference between 11 and 53

This is a webcam shot from our local ski mountain this morning:

 

My reaction: "Oh my god - I'm going back to bed."

The reaction from a random 11-yr-old walking by: "Awesome!"

A meta-comment comment

It has come to my attention that some blog readers are unaware that there is a place where they and other readers can read and leave comments regarding posts.

See down there under this post where it says in 6-pt. type: "Comments"? Just click that to open a whole new world of blogging richness.

In regard to my own blog, most of the comments are actually funnier than the original post so you're definitely missing out if you don't read them.

For example, regarding Bend Broadband's new slogan: 

Liana said...

My first impression of that motto was that it makes it sound like they are being "forced" to do a good job. Like they wouldn't be under pressure to do quite as good a job if they weren't serving locals. ...

Would it be any better if they changed it to "We the local dog..."?

Ha!

And in regard to my recent brush with the law,

Kathi D said...

I would never speed. Or break the law in any which way. No, never.

To which I say:

Right.

See what you've been missing?

I fought the law...

and the law was actually quite reasonable.

I don't want to drag you through the whole sordid saga, but I was stopped for speeding (allegedly - I plead no contest) the evening before Halloween. I thought the words "son" and "football game" might move the cop to let me off, but I guess he'd heard that one before. He then checked my license and told me it was suspended. What?!? Not this suburban station-wagon-driving mom! Well, it was. The epic of getting two people to show up on the Parkway to drive me and my car away was quite painful and kinda funny in the end, but that's another story.

So my license was suspended due to my paying another fine a bit late last summer (another alleged speeding ticket) even though that county said it had been cleared. Cancelled checks, suspension notices, paying fines in several counties and calling/visiting the DMV over and over took up more precious time of my finite life, but I did get my license back.

I was determined to fight the $495 suspension ticket, so went to traffic court Tuesday afternoon. Another interesting experience that's unnecessary to repeat. It was fascinating to watch the distractingly-handsome young judge weigh all these Talmudic decisions about people's speeding, seat-belt and insurance fines. I had all my papers in order and a little sequence of events all typed up, just like in "Alice's Restaurant." Anyway, to cut to the money part, his honor dismissed the entire "suspended" charge. I was thrilled to get away with only the $200 speeding ticket. 

Lessons learned:

1. Don't take the Clackamas County clerk's word for it when he tells you "Oh don't worry, it will all get cleared up." Even my judge smirked at that one.
2. Don't be a sucker and send in the full amount of any ticket -- go to court to plead your case. The judge either dismissed or greatly reduced EVERYBODY's fines, even for the really scary people. Who knew?
3. You can call up the municipal court early on your appearance day to check in so you don't have to wait for 60 other unfortunate people to plead their case well into the evening. Who knew again? Well, obviously repeat offenders, because they all got to go before I did.
4. And of course, don't ever speed.

Isn't that wig itchy?

Another random grammar rant - local dog version

Our local cable company has a pretty good reputation for customer service and innovative technologies. What they seem to be lacking is a sixth-grade grammar education.

Bend has the reputed highest per-capita dog ownership in the state, most of which are black labs, and they're smart and fast and loyal etc. so I get the visual and have no quibble with that.

However, though this will once again label me a grammar prude, the tagline bugs the heck out of me. "We better be good." It's just wrong. "We'd better be good" is the correct usage here. I know, I know, it's ad-speak, informal, colloquialism, etc. but it grates on me every time I see or hear it.

Of course, this time of year whenever I see that particular tagline I tend to follow it up with "We'd better not cry, we'd better not pout." And I'm telling you why.

You know who you are...

To all my blog readers and FaceBook friends:

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, encouragement and random comments you've sent my way. If I don't personally acknowledge them, please know that I appreciate each morsel and think of you when I read yours. In the ferris wheel of my life, commenting on comments is one task that I have to eschew, along with taking back cans for a nickel, brushing my pets and cataloging my knitting needles. 

So this will have to stand for my personal thank you and tip o' the ol' blogging cap to regulars, occasionals and even the lurkers out there in web world.

[Unless you're Kathi D., a blogger I've never met or spoken to who somehow got her own category for heaven's sake.]

manual red-eye correction

It's your birthday! Take another vicodin!

I can pinpoint the moment birthdays ceased to be exciting. November 13, 2007, when I turned 51.

My fiftieth was fantastic, actually: an all-nighter at a club in San Francisco followed by a tour of the wine country from a little inn in Calistoga. My (younger) boyfriend didn't freak out about my turning fifty (at least not that weekend) and my gal pals took me out for a wonderful dinner and celebration.

51 was unmemorable - I think Henry and I went to Red Robin. And last year on my 52nd I had a migraine and went to bed.

That brings us to this year. It started with an argument and tears about homework (Henry cried too). My eye is blood-filled (sorry), swollen and bruised and I'm spending the rest of the day in bed. Don't worry, I'm not alone: my cats and dog are happily lying on top of me.

But it's really not all bad. A friend came by with flowers, and she and other friends are bringing over dinner tonight. My facebook wall and blog comments are filled with best wishes, another compelling example of the power of social media. And best of all, the entire nursing and office staff at my eye doctor's entered the exam room this morning, sang Happy Birthday and presented me with a brownie and candle.

As my sweet doc said: "We feel like you're part of the family." Hmmm... Is that a good thing?

Potatoes? For me? You shouldn't have!

A birthday song

 

Happy birthday* to me
Happy birthday to me
And what a great present;
More eye surgery!**

*tomorrow
**today

the sweater

Getting back to my knitting

Alright, wallowing time is over. Back to the happy.

Let's talk about KNITTING! Whee!

Here's the finished cable jacket:

So now that I've shown my mad knitting props, I can go back to making cup cozies and washcloths.

Top Ten Tuesday: fine whine edition

Top ten reasons why I'm feeling sorry for myself today:

1. I have to have another surgical procedure on my eye on Thursday.
2. I'll have to do this all again next year with the right eye.
3. It's getting hard to drive at night, which makes me feel really old.
4. I haven't lost the 5 pounds I gained after the first surgery.
5. I have to pay this stupid speeding ticket that will up my insurance.
6. The leaves in my yard are all slimy and I have to rake them tonight.
7. I haven't planted my spring bulbs yet and don't know when I will.
8. I'm finding hard to get any exercise in and am feeling it.
9. I miss my ex-boyfriend.
10. The evil hawkweed is spreading and I have to destroy a lot of plants to eradicate it.

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
Without ever having felt sorry for itself.

D.H. Lawrence

Everything's more fun with a squirt of liver paste!

I know - that was a really LONG and BORING post. I just had to rant, and that's the beauty of having a personal blog: it's all about me.

It's okay, I'm over it.

So, for all you dog owners, I have to share a new product I found at PetSmart, the SuperStore of pet retail. (Have you seen their fur products aisle?? Amazing. No wonder other countries think we're insane.) Anyway, along those lines, I saw this on the way out and had to have it.

Squirtable liver paste to stuff in dog toys. What will they think of next?

And really, I was comforted by this announcement:

Because I worry about my dog's cholesterol, him being a carnivore and all.

An hour of my life I'll never get back, courtesy of Sprint and Palm

In June I did my early gadget adopter thing and bought a Palm Pre smartphone. I've always had Palms, and this one is supposed to be the iphone killer. (I don't know why Palm never got the credit for touchscreens, by the way. They've always had them, but now that Blackberry and iPhone do as well, they're "hot.")

The Pre is very cool, but there's a bit of a steep learning curve to it. Or maybe a slow one: I still hang up on people regularly when they call 'cause I'm not clear on all the "gestures." But it's FUN: you can teeny-tiny-fy an app card by squeezing it with your fingers, flick it away, use the gesture area, etc. And it looks great - all smooth, black, shiny and curvy. And you know I buy by design, so I had to have it.

I'm also a Sprint apologist. They've worked fine for me and are so desperate to keep their customers that they offer us stuff occasionally. Their customer service is okay, but there's a weird thing between Palm and Sprint about who's responsible for stuff. They tend to send you back and forth to each other, which is annoying.

Lately I've had problems with the Sprint/Pre accessories. My car charger died after four months, and today I bought the very cool "wireless" (although with a plug) Touchstone charger. Got it home and nothing. No charging. So I checked the website troubleshooter and went through all the steps, which ended up sending me to Palm via computer chat. Here is the transcript.

1:35 PM Connected to Rescue Gateway. A support representative will be with you shortly.

1:36 PM Support session established with Sergio.

1:36 PM Sergio: Hello.

1:37 PM Sergio: I understand that you are experiencing issue with Touchstone, as it is not charging. Am I right?

1:37 PM Melissa Hochschild: Correct!

1:37 PM Sergio: I am sorry to hear that.

1:38 PM Sergio: I will help you in this regard.

1:38 PM Sergio: Let me know, what happens when you charge the device with Touchstone?

1:38 PM Melissa Hochschild: Nothing!

1:38 PM Sergio: Is it not charging the device?

1:38 PM Melissa Hochschild: Correct!  [We just spent three minutes establishing the fact that it doesn’t work, which I told them when starting the chat. Was that unclear?]

1:38 PM Sergio: Okay

1:39 PM Sergio: Let me know, the version of Web OS that you are using on the device.

1:40 PM Melissa Hochschild: 1.2.1

1:40 PM Sergio: Okay.

1:41 PM Sergio: Just to confirm, whether the Touchstone™ back cover is installed.

1:41 PM Melissa Hochschild: yes

1:41 PM Sergio: Remove and reattach the Touchstone back cover to ensure it is attached securely at all points.

1:41 PM Melissa Hochschild: [mounting irritation as it becomes clear Sergio can't help] done

1:41 PM Sergio: Now try to charge the device again.

1:42 PM Sergio: Let me know the result.

1:42 PM Melissa Hochschild: nothing happens!

1:42 PM Sergio: Okay.

1:42 PM Sergio: Align the Palm logo on the Touchstone back cover with the Palm logo on the Touchstone™ charging dock. The phone will not charge if it is not centered on the charging dock.

1:43 PM Melissa Hochschild: I did that, and made sure all connections were tight. The charger works on the phone directly, just not through the Touchstone.

1:43 PM Sergio: Let me know, whether the charging dock is connected to a computer.

1:43 PM Melissa Hochschild: no

1:43 PM Sergio: Okay.

1:44 PM Sergio: Connect the AC adapter and USB cable directly to the phone and a power outlet (NOT to a USB port on the computer).

1:44 PM Sergio: Does the phone charge?

1:44 PM Melissa Hochschild: did that and the phone is charging via the USB, not the Touchstone.

1:44 PM Sergio: Okay.

1:44 PM Sergio: Connect the USB cable to the charging dock.

1:44 PM Melissa Hochschild: done

1:44 PM Sergio: Is it charging now?

1:45 PM Melissa Hochschild: NO. I did all this previously!

1:45 PM Sergio: Okay, I understand that.

1:46 PM Sergio: As you have run Interactive test on the device. Let me know, If the  device passes the test or does it produce any error codes?

1:46 PM Melissa Hochschild: It says it passes.

1:46 PM Sergio: That's good. [Why??? It doesn't work!]

1:46 PM Sergio: Are you using the  original battery that came with the phone?

1:46 PM Melissa Hochschild: yes

1:47 PM Sergio: Okay.

1:47 PM Sergio: Center the phone on the charging dock and to leave it on the dock for at least 5 minutes.

1:47 PM Melissa Hochschild: I did that before I contacted you.

1:47 PM Sergio: Okay. I really appreciate for explaining to me in a detailed way. [Is this Sergio's attempt at sarcasm?]

1:47 PM Sergio: Thank you very much.

1:48 PM Sergio: Let me know, the place and date of purchase of Touchstone.

1:48 PM Melissa Hochschild: Today at the Sprint Store in Bend Oregon.

1:49 PM Sergio: So, it is a brand new touchstone.

1:49 PM Melissa Hochschild: yes

1:50 PM Sergio: Okay.

1:50 PM Sergio: Give me a couple of minutes, while I work on the issue. [Right. He probably had five chats going at the same time.]

1:53 PM Sergio: Thank you on hold.

1:53 PM Sergio: Let me explain to you.

1:53 PM Sergio: As we have done the complete troubleshooting steps for the device and the issue still persist. It seems to be an issue with the Hardware of the device. As the device is brand new I suggest you to contact Sprint immediately, so that they can provide the replacement of the device. Also I provide you the chat session ID, which will be a reference for you, so that you can show to the Sprint retailer as a proof.

1:54 PM Sergio: Thank you so much for your patience and understanding in this regard. [More sarcasm?]

1:54 PM Sergio: Can I be of any other help today?

1:54 PM Melissa Hochschild: no [since he was of no help whatsoever]

1:54 PM Sergio: Thank you for contacting Palm and feel free to contact us for further assistance. We rely on your suggestions and feedback to help us provide the best support, so please take a few minutes to complete the customer survey that you'll receive via email. [Believe me, I will!]

You may now close the chat window. Have a great day! Take care. Bye!

1:55 PM Sergio has ended the session. [Twenty minutes later.]

 I won't bore you further with the Sprint phone call, but after another 20 minutes (during which I had to explain what the Touchstone was), they told me it wasn't their fault, it was the manufacturer's. I replied that their brand was on it, but that went nowhere. They finally said to return it at the store. Thank you, I think I figured that out myself.

Have you experienced that surge of anger, frustration and disbelief that occurs during Customer Service calls? Yeah - I had a few of those. I'm now cooled off and resigned, which is even worse.

Why does stuff that should work not work? Where's the problem: manufacturing, quality control, bad design, no one caring? And why is it so difficult to give feedback? How many of these defective things will they sell before they notice they're not working? Where's the satisfaction for the consumer???

Don't get me started again. I'm going to go pour another glass of Chardonnay.

 

Hmm. Where's the cord and plug in this shot? Deceptive marketing at its finest.

I do so know what a chicken gizzard is!

The preteen years have started, for reals.

This morning I emerged from my boudoir and heard Henry talking on the phone, at about 7:30 am. Who the heck are you talking to? I asked. Turns out he called in to the radio station he listens to on his clock radio, one of those inane entertaining local morning shows. Seems they were discussing what a gizzard was (scintillating!) and asked people to call in with their answers.

Henry, never shy, immediately picked up the phone and got on air. Here's the rough transcript:

"Hi there, what's your name?"

"Henry."

"So Henry, what's a gizzard?"

"Um, it's that red thing chickens wear, on their chins."

"Oh, is that what it is? How do you know this - are you a chicken farmer?"

"No, my mom's the vice president of the High Desert Museum."

Outed on air! Though it doesn't say much for the Museum that I supposedly called that red thing a gizzard. Sheesh, everyone knows that's a wattle.

necks of steel

Yes, baseball season is over as of last night. I don't need any unattractive gloating from Yankees fans. Especially since they won by spending the most money. But I'm not bitter. I just miss baseball.

So, the biggest mystery in baseball (other than what the "Day-O!" song has to do with it) is what are those thick necklaces that a lot of players, especially pitchers, wear. I shall now reveal all.

Phiten X30 Necklace

"Phiten products work with your body’s energy system, helping to regulate and balance the flow of energy throughout your body. Proper energy balance helps to alleviate discomfort, speed recovery, and counteract fatigue. Athletes find that they tire less easily and recover faster from intense physical activity. Further benefits of Phiten’s exclusive technology are more relaxed muscles leading to less stress and a greater range of motion that can be of great benefit to an athlete or anyone in any walk of life..."

I got to get me one of these! Red Sox version, of course.

Super Glue my what?

If someone, even a doctor, offers to Super Glue your eyeball, just say no.
I'm just saying.

visited by a bear cat

As my long-time (read: one year) readers know, we used to raise foster kittens here for the Humane Society. It was messy and time-consuming but we loved it. Unfortunately, now that I have a further commute and can't come home at lunch, we can't take care of the little furballs, but maybe again someday.

One bunch stood out because the kittens were so cute -- big and roly-poly. (Of course I love all my kitties equally. Just some more equally than others.) One guy was adopted by the neighbors across the street, who named him Bear. 

He turned into a bear alright, primarily in size.

Because Bear was raised in this house, he enjoys coming over and visiting the old crowd. He especially likes the fact that our cats eat canned food, and likes to drop by for a little snack. During the summer our doors are open and we'll see him walk by on his way to the cat food. Now that it's colder, he waits at the door to be let in just like the resident cats. Henry always lets him in, and occasionally I'll walk into a room and see Bear lounging about. I normally throw him out, as he has a big appetite and cat food gets pricey.

That happens with kids, too. Somehow on Sunday we ended up with seven here. As long as they don't eat the cat food, I'm fine with it.